Grey cloud

Things haven’t been going to well for me here.

I found out the other night that my surrogate mom had a bad stroke and the next 48 hours are crucial. I have had her constantly in thought and prayer.

This morning I found a local pup friend of Zush age had to be put down to cancer.

Maybe my answer is praying harder. Please join me if you can…Thanks.

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My Alyx

My niece, Alexandra, was born when I was twenty. I remember being excited because I already had a nephew- now I had a niece. I had two other nephews, Matt and Greg, and I always loved them all, but the only girl was special…as she got older she loved her brother and adored her cousins.

It’s twenty one years today that you left me and finally were able to rest. Babci and Dziadziu are up there with you now, and you also have my Zusher. I know God took the best to keep you company. Rest well, Alexandra. Cioci will always love and miss you.

Remembering the Day before

One of my favorite documentaries I found on YouTube was entitled 9/10, the day before. An anchorman from Chanel eleven in NewYork, was reviewing the news stories of 9/10, and in review, how insignificant it all seems,in light of the next day’s events.

Well, today is my day before. Fifteen years ago I was getting ready to marry Jim the next morning. What happened the night before, I can remember being with Ryan, my ” beck and call boy”and my maid of honor Denise. I do remember that last ” single girl’s kiss” from Jim.

So here I am, just about 16 years later, and it is funny. You do remember some of the things from before, but it’s like there was no life before him.

It goes without saying Zush is dearly missed and thought of every day. She has a spot in my heart forever.

I married a loving son and brother, a gentle soul, the best pup daddy on earth and my best friend and lover. He is my sit-down and stand-up comedian, and the breath to my life.

So, albeit a day or few hours early, Happy Anniversary to my Jim. I love you more than all the grains of sand in Higbee and the Panama Canal basin.

Dad

I can’t believe it’s been twenty years.

Twenty years ago, it started as an ordinary day. Yes, my Dad was on the cusp of entering hospice, but it was not meant to be. I called home mid-morning to check on how things were going, as I normally did.

I was told Dad was having a bad morning, so I left.

Dad left us two o’clock that afternoon.

I couldn’t believe the kindness of my co-workers. Some even came and called at the house to pay their respects.

Twenty years.

You have Mom and now my Zush up there with you. Make sure you give Zush love from her Momma, ok?

I miss you terribly Daddy, but will love you forever.

Another Saturday

Kasia accompanied us yesterday to see Jim’s Mom at the rehab center. She was really a good girl. Our Zush used to go to the nursing home with us to see our friend Stan. This was the first time Kasia went.

Sometimes she needed a little space, with all the excitement. Under the chair next to my Mother-in-law seemed to fill the spot. Jim took Kasia out a few times and she posed for pictures for Daddy.

Mom was pleased to see all of us, but especially Kasia. She brought her brand of pup sunshine to everyone.

Going Through the Motions

Summer is taking its’ toll.

Our tomatoes were happy until the rains hit. I have gone swimming once so far. The highlight has been my Gerber daisies hanging in there, thanks to advice and some fertilizer.

I’m thankful I have my good friends to check in with and occasionally hang with. Kasia and I keep walking, making up for lost mileage in the boot. I have to admit that this summer has me worn out. Sure, there’s air conditioning but I can’t wait for a good night’s sleep with air conditioning off and windows open.

This is the second summer Kasia has been without her sister.

Sometimes I think, in her own way, she misses Zush as much as I do.We would all have ice in our water when we needed to cool off, and I miss putting towels down to make sure they were not too sloppy. It is true: you always miss what’s gone.

Long Day’s Journey

We are resting tonight in anticipation of seeing Jim’s Mom tomorrow.

Today’s photo is one of Jim’s Mom with Jim and Kasia. We askedMom for permission to name Kasia.

Jim’s Mom is of Polish decent. Her name, translated from English, would be Kasia..We didn’t want her offended, and she was so taken by Kasia, that she readily agreed and was pleased. Our favorite girl in heaven, Zosia, translated into English, is Sophie. Mom had a sister, Sophie, and Zush always made her smile.

So tomorrow we will go and see her, and hope for the best. We look forward to when we can bring Kasia to see her again.