Not Necessarily a Thorn

When we first moved down here, the first Christmas in the new house had me decorating our bay window for the holidays. I did that complete with poinsettias, figurines and the whole deal.Ever since Zush left me, our Christmas spirit is virtually non-existent. I usually have plants in my window, as it gets afternoon sun. The pleasure I got today was seeing this geranium flowering. It’s nice when you know you can save something and enjoy the fruit of your labor.

Usually I put up a Santa kneeling over Baby Jesus with some candles and a Santa in front of Zushie’s photo.

After all, Kasia still believes in Santa!😉

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Kasia’s Constitutional Right

…..and I am sure Zush is exercising her right in heaven. What right, you might ask, is constitutional to pups? Well, especially down here this time of year, in Undisclosed Location, it would be the right to sniff and then pee on a pile of leaves.

My neighbor asked us if we were going for a walk, and I corrected him and said stroll.

You see, we are leashed up as we leave the yard, and normally there’s our choice of ways to go. Now, it is as if Kasia is on autopilot, and Zush used to be too. Find the pile, sniff for other dogs, skunks, cats, raccoons,squirrels , or any other animal that might have been there. You have to give her enough time to sniff, and when she’s done, she leaves her calling card behind.

This is the face of Kasia, the leaf queen. She’s checked to be bug free, as I learned early on is the ground is still warm underneath the leaves.Bugs like warmth. That’s why we check.

I am blessed to have the one-on-one time with my girl. I especially enjoy it now, because she gets a little sad when the leaves get picked up. Then, we are back to normal.

Rough Times

It’s rough when you are feeling lousy and it seems that the calls you get are not necessarily uplifting.

When you try to be supportive for people, you always forget that when you need it, there is never no one there realizing I may be just as low as they are.

Here’s the best psychologist I currently have, second only to her late sister.

Whenever I was low, my girls were always there for me to talk to.

So there was my therapy team. They were/are the best. I wouldn’t be here without them.

Grey cloud

Things haven’t been going to well for me here.

I found out the other night that my surrogate mom had a bad stroke and the next 48 hours are crucial. I have had her constantly in thought and prayer.

This morning I found a local pup friend of Zush age had to be put down to cancer.

Maybe my answer is praying harder. Please join me if you can…Thanks.

My Alyx

My niece, Alexandra, was born when I was twenty. I remember being excited because I already had a nephew- now I had a niece. I had two other nephews, Matt and Greg, and I always loved them all, but the only girl was special…as she got older she loved her brother and adored her cousins.

It’s twenty one years today that you left me and finally were able to rest. Babci and Dziadziu are up there with you now, and you also have my Zusher. I know God took the best to keep you company. Rest well, Alexandra. Cioci will always love and miss you.

Remembering the Day before

One of my favorite documentaries I found on YouTube was entitled 9/10, the day before. An anchorman from Chanel eleven in NewYork, was reviewing the news stories of 9/10, and in review, how insignificant it all seems,in light of the next day’s events.

Well, today is my day before. Fifteen years ago I was getting ready to marry Jim the next morning. What happened the night before, I can remember being with Ryan, my ” beck and call boy”and my maid of honor Denise. I do remember that last ” single girl’s kiss” from Jim.

So here I am, just about 16 years later, and it is funny. You do remember some of the things from before, but it’s like there was no life before him.

It goes without saying Zush is dearly missed and thought of every day. She has a spot in my heart forever.

I married a loving son and brother, a gentle soul, the best pup daddy on earth and my best friend and lover. He is my sit-down and stand-up comedian, and the breath to my life.

So, albeit a day or few hours early, Happy Anniversary to my Jim. I love you more than all the grains of sand in Higbee and the Panama Canal basin.

Dad

I can’t believe it’s been twenty years.

Twenty years ago, it started as an ordinary day. Yes, my Dad was on the cusp of entering hospice, but it was not meant to be. I called home mid-morning to check on how things were going, as I normally did.

I was told Dad was having a bad morning, so I left.

Dad left us two o’clock that afternoon.

I couldn’t believe the kindness of my co-workers. Some even came and called at the house to pay their respects.

Twenty years.

You have Mom and now my Zush up there with you. Make sure you give Zush love from her Momma, ok?

I miss you terribly Daddy, but will love you forever.