Pulling at Band-Aids

I am watching television and on comes a commercial for Medicare 65 health insurance. The man is walking along a beach with a golden retriever.

**sigh**

It’s that time of year and I had to figure out our Christmas cards. Of course, I do photo cards and that meant pictures, for the last time, of both my girls.

**sigh**

It’s November and it’s been 5 months and 8 days since my Zush left me. Her foster mom, my buddy Kathy, tells me how their spirit stays behind. I sit in our love seat and look at where she used to lay and try to visualize her, but to no avail. I talk to her once in a while, too. Oh, I know: Kasia reigns supreme now, but Zush still haunts me. Here alone at night with Kasia, it is kind of quiet.At least with the both of them here I always had entertainment. More often, it was me yelling at Kasia to stop bothering Zush, or talking to Zush as she lay out back on the deck to try to coax her back in. I talk to Kasia, really, I do. The quietness is still overwhelming.
We both miss her sister.

When I lost my parents, friends always would say the heart heals with time.Through the past twenty years, my heart has yet to heal.Oh sure, it would start to.When that would happen, it was a guarantee that more heartache was around the corner.

God, how I miss her.

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The Beat Goes On

 I had a chance to enjoy 2 “days off”, which translates into two days without physical therapy. Getting up at 5:30 a.m. is rough, although I guess I need to acclimate my body back to an early start now that school is back. The end result? No physical therapy equals sleeping in. It was especially nice this morning while it rained.

Autumn is working its’ way to our Undisclosed location. It’s quiet during the week, roads are less congested, leaves are slowly starting to change color, and open window welcome a delightful breeze.

In short? It’s my kind of season. You knew that , right?

Zusher

There has been a slight change in the Zusher, and I don’t know if it’s good or bad.

Zush gets her melatonin in two doses: one in the afternoon when her sun-downing comes out, and the second when it’s bedtime.

For the last 24 hours, Zush has been quiet. Don’t get me wrong, she’s eating, walking, peeing and sleeping. It’s just that she’s quiet. It’s eerie, as I remember, because before my Dad passed, the last 48 hours he was quiet.

I’ll be calling the vet tomorrow, but in the meantime, please throw out some good vibes or prayers for our Zusher.

It definitely is that time of year

When you live in a shore town,it is definitely a vacation driven economy. I have written in previous posts about the serenity that exists here when it’s winter and spring.

It’s coming up to Memorial Day weekend and folks are down already. They are cutting their grass and sprucing up their homes to get ready for their company and/or potential renters.It’s funny to see all the out-of-state plates in the local Ace Hardware, walking out with new trash cans, bags of mulch, buckets and the like.Go to the Wal-Mart and see hoards of out of staters sucking back boxes of K-cups, beach chairs and sunscreen to go with their stretch capris.Look out when they go to their car though:they tear through the parking lot like hell on wheels.

I’ll stay where I am, where we are. Fortunately we are HOME, and now have the luxury of watching everyone else go through the motions.

Not me kiddo- I LIVE HERE.

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Well, at least it cleaned the car off…

We had a full day of rain today.

What’s the old school saying? It makes the flowers grow? It cleans the air of all the pollen, snow, pollution,fill in the blank ________.

There is something nice about a full rainy day on a Saturday.Not a rainy week, mind you, or three rainy days in a row, but a rainy Saturday.

You get up in the morning when the spirit moves you.Things seem to go a little slower.When the girls and I walk, we are walking slower because it must make the smells more attractive to the girls.Not too many people are out so the world is a little quieter, except for your footsteps and the sound of the rain.

The highlight of the day?

The salt got cleaned off the car…..lol.

Everyone is out of town…

…Seems like, I’m the only one around.Somehow these words came into my mind.I don’t remember what song they are from but it was one out in the 60’s when I was a kid.

My buddies Juls,Dottie and Kathy are on their vacations. Juls leaves tomorrow for Hawaii to see her daughter and her family. Kathy left yesterday and is with her husband down in Miami waiting to go on a Caribbean cruise.Dottie leaves Saturday for Arizona and the Grand Canyon.

That’s the funny thing about being retired.I am not working: why would I need a vacation? I am in a quiet spot, well, at least quiet for now.I used to have to get up early in the morning to get up and walk the girls and then get ready for work.Now, when I get up in the morning, I am shocked not to be awake at 4:45am.There is something to be said for having a new routine established in your life.I wonder when the newness of it wears off: probably when I end up getting a little job.Then I’ll be back to square one, and in dire of a vacation.

I guess I’ll be out-of-town, then.

And so to bed..

The difference between a 55th birthday and 25th?

No bells, no whistles, a nice quiet night.The mere fact of being able to get to bed in about 30 minutes is sounding like heaven. I am not complaining, mind you.I am just happy that I have reached a point in my life where quiet is not only good,it’s appreciated.

Tomorrow starts the rest of the festivities leading up to retirement on the 2nd of January.That’s when the real fun begins.