Tag: Mom

The week that was…..

I was remiss in not making my annual posts noting what would have been my Mom’s 96th birthday and my nephew Gregory’s 29th birthday, which was yesterday.

Both of them have my eternal love and respect.

Sto lat, Greg!

Happy heavenly birthday, Mom!Take care of my buddy Zush!

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Dad

I can’t believe it’s been twenty years.

Twenty years ago, it started as an ordinary day. Yes, my Dad was on the cusp of entering hospice, but it was not meant to be. I called home mid-morning to check on how things were going, as I normally did.

I was told Dad was having a bad morning, so I left.

Dad left us two o’clock that afternoon.

I couldn’t believe the kindness of my co-workers. Some even came and called at the house to pay their respects.

Twenty years.

You have Mom and now my Zush up there with you. Make sure you give Zush love from her Momma, ok?

I miss you terribly Daddy, but will love you forever.

Pain plus 362.


For the past three hundred and sixty-two days, I have been making strides with Kasia, who Jim and I refer to as the queen. She knows she has the rule of the house.

Yet my heart sinks daily as the memory of my Zushie is never far out of my mind. Three hundred and sixty-two sunrises and sunsets that I haven’t had her here with me. Fireworks throughout the year that I haven’t had to worry about calming her down.

I have some comfort that she is with my Mom, but it is still so hard.

I don’t even take Kasia down to the bay, as she doesn’t love it quite the way Zush did. I find it quite ironic that we moved down here because she could go and swim her hearts’ content in the bay, and now she is gone.

So please forgive me if I am not quite myself the next few days.

My heart hurts.

Mom

It’s that time of year.

Every Easter, my Mom got white hyacinths from me. My brother Bob got her purple hyacinths, my brother Henry gave her daffodils and my Dad would buy her an Easter lily.

I cherish the memories.

As I go out with Kasia in the morning, I walk past the two big planters by my gate, and smile . Mom is here in my hyacinths, and things are good.

Simpler Days

It’s the Presidential Weekend holiday coming up this weekend here in America.

In the old days, about 50 years ago, there were two holidays: one in commemoration of Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, and one for George Washington’s Birthday. As the years went on, the government decided to consolidate the days into one federal holiday. Thus, the President’s day holiday came into being.

Part of me still thinks of a simpler time.

I remember shopping with my parents and stopping at F.W.Woolworth and in the store,they had a candy counter. Jars on top of the counters had jelly beans and the like in big glass jars. What we always got this time of the year?

These, technically, are now marketed as cherry lolly pops. When my Mom would buy them, they were Washington’s cherries. The real job was breaking the stems apart. The green stem was made of plastic. I remember having to twist them around and around until finally the stems would wear out and you would have two separate cherries on two stems.

As F.W.Woolworth’s store is out of business and has been for a while, you can imagine how shocked I was to actually find these candies still around. I have to remember- everything is on line.

Have a great weekend if you are here in the states. If you are reading this outside of America, well, have a good weekend, too!

Football

So here I on a Sunday, watching Football.

Hope against hope that New England loses- it is par for the course for me. After all, shouldn’t every team have a chance at the SuperBowl? Oh, I know, Tom Brady this, and Tom Brady that, but seriously? I just heard a quote from him saying,” I’m doing as best as I can, so why stop now.”

My Mom would say self praise stinks.

Me? I just believe in God working in mysterious ways.

GO EAGLES!!!!! 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream…

It was a rather stormy day here at Undisclosed location today, with occasional breaks of sun.

I took advantage of the weather to do something I haven’t done in a while.

I napped.

I really never was good taking a nap. I remember my Mom telling me, “You don’t have to sleep, just close your eyes and rest.” While she was saying that, I had my back lightly scratched by her.It was my childhood version of Aleve PM.

As I got older, I found I would nap hard; that is, I would wake up from an alleged nap feeling like I just had five hours of sleep. and had that early wake up headache as a result.

Now, staring down the barrels looking at 58, I do what my doctors used to tell me through my cancers. It is something I always preached but seldom practiced. Listen to your body. If it’s tired, rest it. You’ll feel better for it.

Better late than never.

April Fools Day

It makes me really miss my Mom, as no matter how old I got, she always tried to celebrate April Fools Day with a little prank.

For instance, when I was in grammar school, I’d come down the steps wearing my school uniform, and walk into the kitchen where she was making breakfast.We would start talking and she’d say, in the course of conversation, “Get upstairs and change-what is that on your uniform?” Oh my God? A stained, ripped or torn uniform or uniform blouse? I’d yell where and she’d go to show me…followed by”April Fool!”

I miss those days and Mom.

Hey Mom? “What’s that on your halo?”.. Lol..I love you and miss you every day, and that’s no April Fool!

  

Christmas Week Warmth…

…is what they are talking about on the Weather Channel.

  
This was the sunrise shot from the east,as obviously I am not at the ocean.Yet, three minutes after I took this shot, the heavy drizzle commenced.The girls and I are old hat at weather, but as I said my morning prayers as we walked, I prayed for those folks affected by the tornados in the south and Midwest-until it happens to you, you have no clue of major life upheaval, that is, if you are fortunate enough to escape with your life.

I’ve read of people saddened at missing Christmas with extended families due to weather.Fortunately their families encouraged them to stay out of harms’way:they felt their present was to have their loved ones for Christmas coming.

I am going through nothing like this, thank God.My weather is in my heart where it’s raining tears, missing MY dad and MY mom and family I can’t be with.I can only pray for the day to be back with them.This Christmas I will have a smile on my face and get comfort knowing I’ll be with them again one day.This is nothing next to the poor 6 people who died in the tornados.

If you are traveling please be careful.May the protective hedge of the Divine Being keep you safe,

Merry Christmas and safe travels ! 

 
From me and Kasia,whose tongue is always going,,,,

  
And from me and the Zush🌲🎀🐶

  
And from Jim

Old Softie Redux

For lack of anything worthwhile on five zillion stations on cable, I put on White Christmas on Netflix.

Yup.White Christmas.

No, there’s no snow right now in Cape May, but as someone with a first day of winter birthday, I always felt I had squatters rights on this film. My parents watched movies on the television and White Christmas always seemed to air in time for my Mom’s or my birthday. I remember being in my childhood kitchen, and Mom and I turned the tv around into the kitchen so we could watch White Christmas while we made cookies.

#Thankful for those days

  

A Piece of Dad

  
My Mom had made a ceramic Christmas tree many years ago.It hung in there for a while, and then, it broke.My Dad, ever the trooper, went out to ceramics and made a new tree for my Mom.

I got it out tonight and put it up. I added my little Goebbel/Hummel kneeling angel with Baby Jesus and a balsam candle.

I am smiling tonight because I feel Dad with me. It’s a good feeling!

Little Red Bucket

I have a treasured memory that I managed to save from my Mom.

  
I remember this bucket from childhood.

What’s so special about it?

It’s my Mom’s clothespin bucket.

I can remember as a toddler being in the back yard of Mitchell Street, with the clothesline hung and Mom carrying up the laundry from the cellar steps.It is how I got my first job for Mom. I stood next to her and was allowed to hand her a clothespin when she asked for it. Sure, I worked my way up to hanging handkerchiefs, hanging straight sheets, and later  fitted sheets.

I don’t remember when the bucket list its’handle, but every time the bucket is next to me in the yard, I can feel Mom in her house dress and her kerchief wrapped around her head.It is kind of bizarre to say you feel warmth from a bucket of clothes pins, but I do.

Thanks, Mom.

Seventeen

I was one of those fortunate girls.

I loved my Dad and he loved me. Don’t get me wrong- he loved all of us, but Dad and I were buddies. My brothers weren’t really into actively following sports, so he was happy when he found a willing disciple in me. We spent a lot of good times together. At the bottom of this blog post, I have a picture of Dad in the car when we were at Penn State for a game.

It’s seventeen years ago today that I lost my Dad. I remember,in many of our talks, how he would tell me about life after he would be gone. I believed him and always kept it in my head. You only have one Dad and no amount of time can replace the hole left behind in your heart when he leaves.He didn’t tell me that, but it’s what I learned.

Miss you terribly,Dad, and will love you forever. Kiss Mom for me. 

 

Emotionally exhausted

If you ever talk to a caregiver and they tell you they are not emotionally exhausted, they are stretching the truth.

I have been taking care of my Mom with the help of my brother here in the city for what will be 4 years this coming January.It’s a long haul so far. Within the past month, two friends of mine( in their 50’s-60’s) have had their Moms pass away. Both had dementia, as my Mom does, but one had cancer as an underlying condition, and wasn’t bed-ridden as my Mom is, and the other had dementia for about 5 years but passed away at 98 years of age.

When these folks lost their Moms, I hugged them and gave them my deepest sympathy and then , about a half beat later, said you lucky S.O.B.They both exchanged the look with me and knew.Their lives can resume again.One friend has two dogs and a teaching job he loves, and my other pal is a Grandmom who has a gorgeous house and a lifestyle I secretly covet.

I often say my Mom died in January of 2008 and we are taking care of my Mother. I pray for her every day- I do.

There’s a line in the movie Rudy, between Robert Prosky as a Priest, talking to Sean Astin as the main character. The main character asks the priest has he done all he can do? He has lit candles, prayed, went to Mass, and the Priest answers by saying to him,. “God answers in God’s time.”

**sigh**