Tag: memories

Dad

Tomorrow is the nineteenth Fathers’ Day without my Dad.

It’s funny how, as I get older, certain memories of Dad get sharper. For instance, the Philadelphia Phillies were playing the Milwaukee Brewers today and the Brewers were wearing uniforms circa 1984. It was a time my oldest brother and his family lived out there, and Dad went with us to the game in the old stadium there. I called my oldest godson to talk to him and we laughed about the memory. I also wished him a happy Fathers’ Day.

I am sure Dad had the best game seats with a heavenly view today, and laughed about the same thing.

To all the Dads and ” Have to be Dads” out there, know your memories are cherished by us all.

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We are….Penn State

I am so thankful for my memory, although somedays I wonder where it went.

Penn State football is on channel x, and when I saw they were playing Maryland, my eyes welled up , in a good way.

Forty years ago, my Dad took me up to State College to see the same matchup. In a sense, with new types of penalties and rulings, I am sure Dad’s head would spin.Still, this game was Dad’s game.

I am always grateful for the love and time we shared; he was the best ! And as they say, God is a Penn State fan-why else is the sky blue and white?

97

That’s the amount of years my maternal grandparents would be married today.

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I don’t know why this stuck in my head today. Their last anniversary they celebrated was their 50th, and I was a little kid in grade school. All our family were in a row home in Manayunk and it was a fabulous party. Maybe that’s why it stuck in my head.It was kind of funny, because I could remember what we ate, why my grandparents wore, and the weather of the day.

Today, ask me what I had for lunch. **pregnant pause**

They say you have clearer memories of your early days as you get older.I am starting to believe that.

I am sending a Happy Anniversary to heaven, as I know there is a big party going on up there.They know how to do it right! LOL

Alyx

it was eighteen years ago today that my sweet niece, Alexandra, lost her fight to a mid-brain tumor.

Alex was one of a kind: smart, pretty, witty and yet, God felt the need to make her an Angel. I survived my share of cancer, but God wanted the good angel.

I am grateful my older nephew Matt had the chance to have a few memories with her, as Greg was too young.

I pray that I will see her again one day. I know we’ll have enough to catch up.

  

Mom

I read a post of Facebook today that made me close my eyes and take me back three years.

A friend of mine who is posted in the Vatican put on the Facebook message page that his father passed away. I wrote condolences from myself and Jim, and let him know that this is the week of the year that God looks for angels. Today is three years that my Mom passed away.

Three years.

I miss her every day.It’s a whole in my heart that I know might be healed over by the time I pass away.I find her in little things, and especially, while in the process of moving, I unpacked her sweater and sat with it on today.I made waffle batter this morning in one of her mixing bowls. Tomorrow I am going to look for a book to put her handwritten recipes in. I know she is at peace,and that is the only thing that makes the pain of loss a little bearable.

I keep a picture of her on the table by my bed, and see her every morning.It’s a shot of her before she fell into dementia.On the computer I see pictures of her in her hospital bed when she was in hospice.Today we got the new issue of AARP magazine and they had, on the cover,pictures of everyone who had Alzheimer’s/Dementia and they were people who had passed within the year.

I cherish the memory while God still blesses me with one, and cherish every day I am on two feet. I figure the best way I can honor her legacy is to keep going as best as I can.

Doesn’t stop her from missing me, though.

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Memories

One of the things I’ll miss about living at our current spot is a tree.

In front of the house, there is a Japanese maple.Nice and cooling in the summer, and vibrant in color now, we have had many memories of that tree.

In honor of my nephew Matthias’ birthday today, the one I will share with you is this. My late niece was in town with my brother and their family, and Matthias, Sandy, and I had a good day at Mom’s, playing whiffle ball in the back driveway. Afterward, Matthias, who loved the tree, would climb up in it, and we have a picture of Matthias and Sandy and myself at the tree, with young Matt actually in the tree.

Below this post is a picture of the current beautiful color out front in the tree.It’s bittersweet that I won’t see it next year, but the memories, happily, will go with me.

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So awfully glad..

There were times in my life that I was sorry I couldn’t bear children. I guess, that would have been through my early forties.

Now, on the cusp of my fifty-third birthday, boy am I glad.

I was talking with my neighbors this morning and we were talking about holidays and I said about my nephews being grown. Back in the day it would be going on the train, getting to town, seeing Santa, presents, lunch, well, you know the drill. Don’t get me wrong, mind you-I love kids. The thought of this year having to go out and toy shop and all the jazz that goes with it, well, I feel like I got a break.The first year without Mom is going to be rough enough, or should I say, I know it’ll have its moments. I know she is where she wanted to be and all is good on that front. It’ll just be nice to think back on memories of the past and make my own present memories with Jim and the girls.

Friday five

Am I ever grateful for my BFF ‘s….they are true pillars of support…and it’s great because they KNOW who they are.

God gifted me with a great Dad for thirty eight years. I have missed him terribly for the past fourteen years and will love him forever.

I am grateful my nephew Greg has the chance to start another year at Temple university. He makes our family so proud.

I am absolutely grateful for a good night’s sleep: I only wish they came more often.

Finally, especially after seeing what my Mom went through, I am grateful for my memories: I hold them all close to appreciate the comfort they bring.

Have a good Friday!

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Just one of those days..

…which wasn’t helped by my brother Bob and I going up to Mom’s after work yesterday to start going through some stuff. Past of you just wishes you could blink an eye and it would all be taken care of. Part of you feels like going in and yelling ” Mom, I’m home.” Part of you, after four years, looks for her laying or sitting up in the hospital bed and giving you a little smile or acknowledgement that she knows you are there. And them there’s the part that realizes she is physically gone but she will always be with you.

I don’t know what was more painful: watching her go through that terrible decline over four long years, or the pain that is coming now, that the memories have to surface when you go through belongings.It will be hard on Bob, I know. But as I spent all but the last nine years with Mom on a pretty much daily basis, I’ll be remembering what was worn for senior citizens, what was worn for church, what was worn to hang up clothes on the line…and so on. It’s kind of like you put a band-aid on when you bury a loved one, but then, to handle everything left behind, you have to rip the band-aid off to let the wound heal,

It just sucks. I hope to get down to Undisclosed with Jim and the girls this weekend, and catch a sunset as pictured above, and hopefully, the sting of going through Mom’s belongings won’t be so painful.