It was a little hard, and the color came out a little faded, but above is my favorite of our wedding portraits, for obvious reasons. It was taken 15 years ago tomorrow, the 31st of August.
What I would give to have those 15 years back.
We have had our ups and our downs ,good days and bad days, and our heartache. Somehow, Jim and I are still here, getting up every day, putting one foot in front of the other. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows of which I speak.
In the quiet moments though, we miss our Zosia. How aching is it to look at this picture and know she’s gone. She was the best therapist we both had; listening and loving unconditionally. Yes, I know: she’ll always “be” with us, but it’s just not the same.
Well, our Kasia is still with us. Unlike Zusher, she listens and barks, er, talks back. We go forward tomorrow hand in hand, and with four paws next to us.
Today marks four years since Mom passed and I have to offer what I had written in last years post. The meaning is even deeper, as is the heartache.
I miss her every day.It’s a hole in my heart that I know might be healed over by the time I pass away.I find her in little things, and especially, while in the process of moving, I unpacked her sweater and sat with it on today.I made waffle batter this morning in one of her mixing bowls. Tomorrow I am going to look for a book to put her handwritten recipes in. I know she is at peace,and that is the only thing that makes the pain of loss a little bearable.
I keep a picture of her on the table by my bed, and see her every morning.It’s a shot of her before she fell into dementia.On the computer I see pictures of her in her hospital bed when she was in hospice.Today we got the new issue of AARP magazine and they had, on the cover,pictures of everyone who had Alzheimer’s/Dementia and they were people who had passed within the year.
I cherish the memory while God still blesses me with one, and cherish every day I am on two feet. I figure the best way I can honor her legacy is to keep going as best as I can.
Doesn’t stop her from missing me, though.
My nephew Greg and my Mom,.circa 3 years ago
Mom’s last pic