Mourning or Missing

Mom and Zosia

Today is the 10th anniversary of my Mom’s passing.

I miss her; truly I do. As my Mom had dementia, the last five years of her life were my mourning period. My brother and I took turns every other night taking care of her, and I don’t think there wasn’t a night that I was there that I didn’t cry. Mom was herself for one week after she suffered a subdural hematoma, but then dementia took her away. She could communicate in Polish on occasion, but talking was minimal. The birthday before she passed away, I was up with Mom overnight. Her birthday was four days before mine. On my birthday, I got up quietly to get dressed for work, and as I turned away from the closet, she looked over to me and said,” Good morning.” It was the sweetest birthday gift she ever gave me.

People commented to me about not crying at her funeral. I said it was a celebration of her life-her entire life pre-dementia. We were genuinely glad she was done with her struggle. Physically she hung in there for five long years. It was time for her body to go catch up with her mind in a better place.

Life has gone on and I miss Mom. There are many times I can feel her wagging her finger at me and telling me “I told you.” She never got a chance to see me retired. She never got to come here and see where we live now. She knew my Zushie girl but didn’t get to know my Kasia that well.

Kasia

At this ten year mark, I’m missing Mom. I don’t think that’ll ever change. I am grateful for the life she led. I just hope I can catch up with her eventually.

Ha-ha-ha…who’s got the last laugh now?

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Tonight,daylight savings time,is the first day of spring.

You couldn’t tell it by the above picture.

Jim and I went to a funeral this morning and this was the picture I took when I got out of the car at the funeral home.Yup, snow.The Weather Channel, in their 2015 trend, named the storm Ultima.It was hysterical, because when we came back from the luncheon,there was a dividing line of weather, and the snow turned into rain.

But it’s spring now…right?

Just checking.

Beautiful day…

…because we are due,according to the weatherman, to have snow tomorrow morning.

We have to go to another part of the state for a funeral tomorrow morning, so we have to call it an early night.The fit bit zip has seen lucky 15,000 steps, we had Chinese food for dinner**our first since we relocated down here**, all I have to do is get the girls out for a quick good night walk, and then we are shutting down for the night.

Have a good Friday, and if the weather is iffy tomorrow where you are, be careful,ok?

Humidity biting in the butt.

It sure as hell was muggy today.

My Mother’s cousin passed away and I went to the funeral looking like a wet dog, because it was deemed that “it was cool out” so fans were on and windows open.**sigh**

Now, down at Undisclosed. I had to cajole to bring the air on-he claims he’s freezing and it’s 75 degrees in here.

It’s going to be a long summer….**sigh**

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counting with the “Wild Woman”

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So this is day four into my home attempt at using a gel polish on my nails from home.The polish was Revlon’s Dealer’s choice, and I only picked the color after seeing all the oceanic summer colors that are out there.I wanted to see how long I’d be using just the polish, with no extra bells and whistles.

I find it highly ironic that I had commented to Jim that, upon seeing someone with blue toe nail polish in a CVS,saying “what’s wrong with her nails?”, and then realizing there was polish that color. I have to hand it to my mother-in-law, who, for the 15 years I’ve known her, was never one to shy away from an unusual color.

We have a funeral at the end of the week and it’ll be a test if the color stays good, then maybe, just maybe this might be the road to go.