Not Into It

It has been a hard day today.

I think, like a lot of people who have had loss in their life, the closer you get to Christmas the harder it is to deal with.People who still have all their family haven’t a clue as to what the loss does to you at this time of the year.Things happened today that just seemed to put me over the edge, and I can honestly say I have not cried this much and felt this low in a long time.It’s hard, because I used to love this week and now, I can’t believe that I have turned into one of those people who can’t wait for February, so December would be over.

It is sad, and when I think of my “past” life”, I think this is what makes me tear up the most.I guess I need to put the sadness of the past in its place, and the fear of the future in it’s place.I just have got to live in this moment.
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