Thanks

A friend of mine was talking to me briefly today about my blog.His comments had me thinking about you,my reader.

I thank all of you, friends and strangers alike, who take the time to read this. What started as therapy for me while caregiving for Mom, I write now for the therapy and the pleasure of it. From Shingleman, allergies, caregiving and other daily thoughts, I would hope you enjoy reading this as I enjoy writing it. I would hope you keep reading: I promise to keep working on it on sunny and stormy days ahead, and for now, sending out warmest wishes to you, from the Wissahickon valley.

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Easter treat

So Shingleman and I went to one of his sisters for Easter dinner. We were on the way back and passed the Evergreen Dairy Bar. Back in the day, it was called the Polar Cub. How I know this is my parents used to take us, once in a while, to Long Beach Island or Barnaget Light. Dad used to get a soft serve cone of lime sherbet twirled with vanilla ice cream and Mom’s was orange sherbet twirled with vanilla.

Thanks, Shingleman, for stopping here, and Mom? This ones for you !!!!

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Happy Easter

Well, it’s Saturday night and managed to get through today with a minimal about of tears thinking of Mom. Actually, I am chuckling to myself as I type this, because although she would have been happy that I went and got the basket of food blessed, she’d be looking for the coconut cream egg that somehow I forgot to get for the basket. It was bittersweet being in Church waiting for the food to get blessed, because the parishioners are waiting for word that the Archdiocese is going to close it as a Church, and possibly just keep it open as a “worship” site. Shingleman asked me what Mass we are going for tomorrow and I am truly torn, This parish is probably looking at its last Easter morning Mass: although since I have been married, I belong to the Church across the park and we really haven’t been up in the city a lot since Mom passed away,so we could go there too!

We threw a lot of things away today, with hopes of using our time here wisely and cleaning out to make the house ready for when we eventually move. Now the Phillies are on the television, although I honestly would want to know how Jamie Moyer, my favorite MLB pitcher, is doing in his game for the Colorado Rockies. I  am waiting for the last load to come out of the dryer , and then, time to shower and bed.

As we would say in Polish- “Wesolego Alleluja”…..Happy Easter!

Holy Saturday

Well, after cleaning out Mom’s closet today to the tune of seven black trash bags, well, suffice it to say I put a dent in the process: hard to do with a heavy heart.

My night was capped off with Greg , my nephew, and my brother Bob, and dying Easter eggs. We even had my nephew Matt on the speaker phone for a bit , and that made it nice . Eggs are dyed, kielbasa is ready, now on to Holy Saturday!!

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Another Friday Five

With this being a really, really rough week for me, I had to dig deep for this week’s five things I am thankful for.

1. In thinking back to Mom’s last four years, I am thankful I still have my mind, although I know there are friends of mine who would argue that fact…lol. Watching someone you love and care about slip into dementia is a horrible thing. I thank God for every day that I can sit at this computer and put thoughts together in my head and they make it out to the screen in front of me.

2.I am thankful for (almost) all the men in my life, past and present. Shingleman leads the way, but my brother Bob, nephews Matt and Greg,” Mr.Mel”, my honorary father-in-law,JP, who became a friend from the moment I met him professionally but look forward to holding our friendship as we get a little older, Jamie Moyer, who although he is in Colorado, I had the pleasure of talking to him once on a corner in Center City and he really, really put class in the definition of athlete, and the guys I have loved and lost, or they have loved  and lost me….either way, I am wiser and stronger person for having the experience of knowing them, …I could go on and on…you get my drift, right?

3. I am thankful that I have a clean, made bed upstairs waiting for me to go to sleep in. Some folks don’t.

4. I am thankful for you all who read this blog: it is so uplifting to know someone is actually reading this and so far, almost all of you seem to think this is pretty good sometimes and I am not totally losing my mind yet….just kidding.

5.Butter krak and butter creme, hell, even coconut creme Easter eggs…after all, doesn’t chocolate solve all the worlds problems?  😉

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Marian

Wishing it were over…

…and I could wake up on Monday.

One holiday that always was tied in to my upbringing and childhood was Easter. There was always the Holy Week services, walking down the hill with two or three of my classmates on Good Friday and we would go to all five of the parishes in the area and say a prayer. As I got older, I helped a few friends decorate the altar for Easter Sunday and pin the grave that the crucified Jesus would lay in on Good Friday and get the side altar for exposition on Holy Thursday and through the weekend.

On the secular front, when nephews were younger, I would go to the local confectioner in town and get everyone an Easter egg, including my Mom, who was a coconut creme girl.I would always buy my Mom a white hyacinth for Easter, kind of in homage to all the Easter processions I walked in as a kid. My brother Bob would always get her a grape one. My Dad, when he was around, always got her an Easter lily. When I was in high school, my brother would bring home a horseradish root which was divine. See, it was as if it were homeopathic we would take turns with the grater and a bowl while sitting on a stool on the front porch and we would grind our own horseradish. Who needed decongestant? Bobby and I both still have Philadelphia sinuses, so we didn’t mind.

When I was a younger, the Polish tradition dictated that we are up early Holy Saturday morning, as the priest would be coming to your house to bless your Easter table. You would have a carved butter lamb on it, Easter basket, your kielbasa, babka, which is Polish cake/bread ,your horseradish, farmers cheese,hard-boiled eggs, salt and pepper, wine and oil and vinegar on the table. All had some significance for the Risen Lord. As we got older, we took the baskets, and my brother still does, down to church to have the food blessed.

For six of the past ten years, I would have an Easter brunch here for my family, and then go to Jersey to one of Shingleman’s sister’s for Easter. The past four years were quiet for me, as I was watching Mom with Bob. It was the best, and saddest time with her, as her faith was steadfast, but you knew there was an expiration date that you just couldn’t see yet.

I really don’t know how I am going to get through Sunday. Yes, I have the memories of my Mom, but when you go with other people, they really don’t care HOW you are feeling. For all they care, your grief stopped when you put your Mother in the ground, It’s not that easy. Somehow, I guess I am going to have to try to get through it, wishing instead I could be alone with memories of Mom. I just hope people will leave me alone, as things have been on the edge for both Shingleman and myself, and we are shot. We are good actors, because when people see us, they don’t figure it out. Our smile goes off as quickly as it goes on. We have both been through a ton since the holiday, and, quite frankly, we are still going through it.

I would happily trade places with the younger me who walked in Easter procession in 1967. The current me is so deep in emotional loss that it almost takes my breath away, as it is that intense.

“You can’t go home again.”……if only I could.

Can you hear me NOW?????????

Had the occasion to be on public transit yesterday for a brief bus ride that was  louder than an Aerosmith concert.

The culprit?

A lawyer!

So as he is on his hands free phone on the bus, screaming( I mean, dude, seriously? It was 4 adults over 50 and YOU) and talking about all his business, I could only think of he did what he did for a living to draw attention to himself. He obviously was a ” cog” in the election wheel, dropping city commissioners and former city commissioners names AND home phone numbers at the top of his lungs. I’d say he was compensating for other ” short-falls” in his life. If I had been someone disenchanted with the voting system, just listening to this guy on the bus would have solidified my opinion of why they should NOT vote. If I were the city commissioners that this guy was blasting phone numbers of, well, I mean he might as well just written them on street corners all through the city.

Me? I just laughed at his over-compensation, grabbed my head, aching from his voice, and got off the bus at my stop.

Politicians and political wanna-be’s…gotta love ’em.