Who is going to benefit from my effort? Hopefully ,my health.
I lost 45 pounds 5 years ago, and things were going good.
Then Mom got sick, my knees started hurting, care-giving was wearing me away, and suffice it to say, although I didn’t gain all of it back, I do feel that I’d probably feel better . I belonged to the Trevose behavioral health system , whose premise is calorie counting, period. You start with a set amount, say 2000 calories, for a few weeks. As the new weight falls off, then you start to wean off, and say move down to 1900, or then 1800.
The mountains of Halloween candy are all given out, and baking is, right now on a hold. Still trying to keep Mom’s ship afloat and that’s taking a little out of me.Unfortunately, due to past cancers and antidepressants, I feel like I am taking Pez in the morning as I try to swoop needed meds into me. To me, that is proof this body is getting older. Maybe it is time to pull up my big girl pants and respect this body.
The time feels right,
It’s November and edging closer to the winter, and I barely made it out of October.
We had issues with Mom’s electric and gas heater last month which got straightened out, and all is good, as she is hanging in there. The issue, as the holiday gets closer, is who watches Mom for holidays. My brother has two sons. I have my husband and in-laws.As many times as we would have tried, it was always difficult oto work a holiday with Mom.My brother tried bringing his family up to Mom’s one year, but she really wasn’t cognizant of anything, so that was the end of that. You acknowledge that things will no longer be how they used to be,and it does make you sad, but basically,it just becomes an issue of sitting there taking care of Mom when it’s a holiday.For the past three years, people are wishing you Merry Christmas and you are anything but merry.
As a caregiver, it’s awfully hard to be upbeat on a daily basis. So be forewarned. I’ll have a rough couple of months until after New Years.
Bear with me,ok?
Halloween was a big thing for me as a kid.
My best friend, Karen and I, would walk around the neighbor a Saturday morning before and we would plot our route. One year we actually wrote in a little book who gave out what, because people gave the same thing out every year.
One house gave out Charms lolly pops( for those of you who remember, it was the big one you’d pay a nickel for.My parents gave out Hershey bars-the plain ones. One house gave out apple taffies-this was before the time of razor blades in candy. another house gave out bags of popcorn..and so on.Back then you were actually held accountable, and needed to know a joke in the event a neighbor wanted to know your trick. Now, I shudder when I see bigger folks out with no costume, no effort, but a big pillowcase.
For the past ten years, we have been on a street that has a lot of Victorian type homes, and with our arbor vitae and cedars, our house has often been made reference to as the ” Adams Family House”. I always tried to make Halloween as good for the kids today as I had it. We used to have parties at our house outside, as we were a corner property with plenty of room for neighbors who didn’t have a lot of kids visit or were in apartments. We stopped it over the past two years, just being quiet and giving candy out for the kids. It’s kind of hard, too, because I used to try to make something special up for the kids I knew, but they are all growing up in their own way, and I just can’t figure out what I could give across the board, so candy it shall be.
It is kind of bittersweet for me, as I get old and with no children of my own. I have been thinking the last year or two of stopping giving out candy, but don’t have the heart to. As the kids I know get older, well, let’s just say I think the decision will be easier. In the meantime, I will enjoy the children as they come, with the assistance of my godson, Greg and Jim and Zush. Kasia will probably be barking in the house because she is scared of children. We’ll go through it again, one more time………
This week has been awfully long for me.
It could be because I knew I would have no chance to sneak out to the Undisclosed location. The fact that my escape hatch was bolted shut, so to say, seemed to magnify the drama dancing around in my life.
But that was this week.
It’s Friday. I’m home tonite. It’s getting colder out so I have to bring the rest of the plants in. A little baking to make the house smell good is also on my agenda. Walking both the girls to keep us in shape. Turning clocks back equals an extra hour sleep Sunday. Most importantly, I’ve got my love to keep me warm.
Pretty lucky girl and I know it.
Have a good weekend.
Whenever it gets to be a little rainy, I always am amused at the folks who come back at me with,” At least it isn’t snow.”
OK, sure, when you are out in the work force, you don’t want to have to get up early and have to shovel before you get to work. And for my best efforts, I never had sure traction in snowy,icy weather until I got ice shoes that enabled me to walk a little bit more confidently on an icy street.
Rain is no fun when you are working and you almost fall asleep on public transportation coming in because of the sound of rain on the roof. All you want to be is home under a blanket, wearing sweats, and taking a nap. Rain is good for the trees and such, but I think I enjoy the rain because it is part of nature’s transition. Helps get ready for either growth,or cleaning up for the next season. You can take a moment and salute the past seasons of your life, but now,the season is getting ready for Nature ,taking a nap and waking up all green and blooming in the spring. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy living in the mid-Atlantic states. Seasons are a great barometer of life.
I’m ready-bring it on.
If you ever talk to a caregiver and they tell you they are not emotionally exhausted, they are stretching the truth.
I have been taking care of my Mom with the help of my brother here in the city for what will be 4 years this coming January.It’s a long haul so far. Within the past month, two friends of mine( in their 50’s-60’s) have had their Moms pass away. Both had dementia, as my Mom does, but one had cancer as an underlying condition, and wasn’t bed-ridden as my Mom is, and the other had dementia for about 5 years but passed away at 98 years of age.
When these folks lost their Moms, I hugged them and gave them my deepest sympathy and then , about a half beat later, said you lucky S.O.B.They both exchanged the look with me and knew.Their lives can resume again.One friend has two dogs and a teaching job he loves, and my other pal is a Grandmom who has a gorgeous house and a lifestyle I secretly covet.
I often say my Mom died in January of 2008 and we are taking care of my Mother. I pray for her every day- I do.
There’s a line in the movie Rudy, between Robert Prosky as a Priest, talking to Sean Astin as the main character. The main character asks the priest has he done all he can do? He has lit candles, prayed, went to Mass, and the Priest answers by saying to him,. “God answers in God’s time.”
I am tired of wheezing.
No, I am not an asthmatic, thank God, but between mold spores from two months of kick butt rain and post-nasal drip, I have been hacking and wheezing for the past month. I have been taking my generic mucinex, forcing fluids, all the good stuff. This past weekend I woke upon on Saturday and had no coughing for one WHOLE day!
Sunday morning? Dry tickle when I woke up, and within 3 hours, the hack was back. Dressing weather appropriate, trying to stay away from other hackers, you know, all that good stuff. Hell, I even got a flu shot…
Give me a good forty degree cold snap and let’s get the crap out of the air and all will be as close to good as it can be.**here’s hoping**
Eleven and two tenths doesn’t equal twelve ounces.
My Jim realized, when ordering a Stella Artois beer Friday night, that the bottle was not 12 ounces. After buying a half case today, he brought the bottle out and had a bottle of Yuengling beer, which had a full 12 ounces.
Where has he been?
I remember a few years back when buying a can of Maxwell house: all of a sudden, the can was a few ounces short. The same through the years on orange juice, ketchup bottles, among other grocery items. Sure, items were going to be on sale, but whoo-hoo , they were shorting me a few ounces. So now Jim has caught up to the fact that things just aren’t what they used to be.
I stopped at a candy store today to buy some candy for a buddy of mine and I also bought some fudge. Sure, now here is a situation that you got a full pound, but in addition, your order might be ” a little over”. So, of course, what you are paying is slightly higher. .. but at least it’s the full pound.
Now the key is just to keep a full pound off my belly…lol
Can’t help but laugh for as I sit here at my desk, George Harrison’s “Taxman” is playing on my iTunes. Coincidentally, that is the government agency I work for- it deals with taxes. The lyrics are rather clever, IMHO….
Let me tell you how it will be
There’s one for you, nineteen for me
‘Cause I’m the taxman
Yeah, I’m the taxman
Should five percent appear too small
Be thankful I don’t take it all
‘Cause I’m the taxman
Yeah, I’m the taxman
(If you drive a car )
I’ll tax the street
(If you try to sit )
I’ll tax your seat
(If you get too cold )
I’ll tax the heat
(If you take a walk)
I’ll tax your feet……
…actually knowing that the situation has been around since the beginning of time doesn’t make me feel any better, and knowing how disgruntled Harrison was with the UK tax system( yeah, he banked in Switzerland)..well, I just think he was clever as all get out. I mean there are protest songs, my husbands favorite being Phil Ochs from the 60’s and the Guthries, Woody and Arlo, and lots by Bob Dylan, but I am sorry, Harrison knocks it out of the box for me on this.
Have a good weekend.
Should know that when the day starts and mercifully I am at home with Jim, and running late, and need a ride to the train-not a good sign.
Make it to the fore-mentioned train by the skin of my teeth. Situated, comfortable, until 2.5 stops later…the lights on the train flicker…Hmm…don’t subway cars do that? Not trains?Well, then the fireworks started as the train lost its’ pantograph and the power that went with it.**thanking education from two nephews on trains 101 as they grew up**
Joined the huddled masses out to North Broad Street in hopes of catching a bus. Got to City Hall and caught a second bus. Got off at Inepta headquarters to get a note to excuse the lateness**read sarcasm here, as employer probably won’t accept it**, and then kicked in with eighty thousand worth of titanium to clock in by 7:223am,sweating oh so gracefully as I strode down to the office.
Hopefully, my coffee will settle me down and things, well, I am shuddering to wonder what the REST of the day will bring.
Hope yours is less stressful.
..boy do I wish!
Didn’t watch the weather last night**mental note to self-watching the weather may NOT be hazardous to your health** so had to pinch a rain coat/jacket from my Mom’s closet to make sure I got into the office relatively undrenched..lol. There is something bittersweet about having to raid my mother’s closet for a jacket that I know she will no longer have to wear. Plus, add the fact that I am 5’6″ and my mother is a whopping 5 foot, and yet amazingly, the arms fit me. Figure that one out. So I trenched off to start the day in not the most light-hearted of moods.
Then, to come into this government agency where I call home for 8 hours a day where it is dreary as all get out, most of us just are thisclose to going completely off the track and payday is the only saving grace…no, wait, ..I had a hot K cup of coconut coffee to push my mind’s button to ON.
Well….Thursday is around the corner….
..or actually, I did back on Saturday. This time six months ago, I was in the bullpen of Pennsylvania Hospital, waiting to get wheeled in and have the medicine kick in for my double knee replacement surgery. My twins, Right and Left, were born that day and they have been such good kids. Sure there were initial swelling issues but, at six months, they had been so good I treated them to a one hundred eight step climb of the Cape May light house this past Saturday…
But seriously, as lousy as my job can be at times, I am so thankful for the benefit that allowed me to go to a qualified surgeon who knew his stuff and the knees that now live in my body.God blessed me a lot so far through this life and this is just one of his latest blessings.I even went this morning to get a gift that keeps on giving for the twins: a flu shot! The emphasis is now even more important that now infection gets in the body to play havoc on the knees.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of you guys who have supported me through my trials with the knees. If you saw me every morning and asked how I was, met me at the train and walked me home,emailed me, or called. Thanks for being there. It is much appreciated and will never be forgotten.
Happiest of birthdays to my brother Bob, who I would kill for.
Look out tomorrow the celebration begins~ Whoo-hoo!
…as I am at ” the Undisclosed Location”,this is “Lighthouse Challenge” weekend, a yearly event in New Jersey. I haven’t had a chance to participate the past few years due to my old knees. Hell, I was lucky that I was walking, let alone climbing stairs with bad knees.
Guess what? Because I am here this weekend, I went over to the Cape May lighthouse and climbed it with Jim.Don’t ask me how many steps there were-there were many. However, the knees feel ok, and that’s good. I thought since they are almost 6 months old( as of this coming Tuesday),what a better coming out party? Nice to know I lived to tell the tale.The wind was so gusty-the weather channel said we had 25-35 knot winds and the ocean was truly alive. It was an awesome experience.
It was kind of weird today,as we did a lot of different things and as of 9:55pm tonite( now), we are just getting settled in for the night, as it were. It’s kind of odd, as we are a pretty sedate couple. Yet today? We ran around like 30 year olds…lol.
On the way from the lighthouse, we stopped at a NJ Audubon Society trail and ran across an old farm, complete with pumpkins that probably had been forgotten. Long story short-we ended up with 4 small pumpkins to come home with us. The girls had their share of walks so they too are beat. I had managed to score some “real” authentic dog bones from the Amish in Reading terminal, so both of them had been working on it furiously. It was funny, because Kasia never had a real bone before. She kind of laid back until she saw how Zush was handling the bone. It was cute to watch.
Here’s hoping for a good Sunday and a peaceful week for everybody.
If you remember my past posts about my Keurig and my Kcups, I was wondering if there was some way we could compile a way of tracking who is getting the best deal on Kcups, with your own Folgers in the metal kcup notwithstanding.
To the best of my knowledge, Bed, bath and Beyond are offering free shipping but it has to be on selected varieties. Other companies offer free shipping with a forty-five dollar order.If you get on FB, you’ll see sporadic ads from companies like Big Kat, but usually they have a high purchase amount needed for free shipping.
I’m tired of hitting Wal-Mart on a hit or miss. Let me know if you know of any good deals on Kcups and I promise I’ll share them here.
You would think anyone who gets sucked into the Kardashians on E!, well , you aren’t surprised that I watch TLC. Well, I do. For one show…
I was channel surfing when I first happened upon this show and I was intrigued. I mean, if I could save ,not $10,$20 OR $25,000 as some of the people on the show claim, but it was with an eye toward retirement, I figured, hey, why not?
Evidently the coin of the realm here is printable coupons. You need to do homework as to what your grocery store’s coupon policy is as to if they would double the coupons**listening to Dad turning over in his grave at the statement of me doing ANY homework over the age of 21..lol**,and the coupons you find on line ,in the Sunday paper and in circulars, and you’re off.
I save $25.00 last week in Walmart, home of, “What us? Double Coupon? LOL”. Can’t wait to try it in Shop Rite.
Leaving work yesterday, I was walking up a handicapped curb at 11th and Market Streets and went ,twisting my right ankle, and FALLING on the right side of my knee, not the actual knee front on, as it were.Gee, you would wonder where my mind is at, huh?
Could have been due to the fact that I have to talk to my Mom’s case worker with the state, after dealing with her PCA caseworker.Then, all of the other Mom related paperwork is up front and center this week. I am there tonite for my turn, and she officially has joined me in the hacking cha-cha, but she is on medication for it.
People wonder why I am so enamored on the ” Undisclosed location”.
At any rate-it’s either that or Ativan.
Prayers needed this week and greatly appreciated.
I am a frustrated Iron Chef America viewer.
My addiction started after first finding the Iron Chef show on the Fine Living network, back in the day. The show originated in Japan, and was really kitschy, because the show was translated into English, so it was like you were watching a Godzilla themed cooking show.
I have always been playing catch up, since the show has been on forever, but the Food Network has decided to run reruns of diners, Drive-Ins & Dives..over, and over and over**ad nauseum**..This morning I have the station on and they are showing the promos for the Next Iron Chef. I am chomping at the bit at this, because they have some kick-ass chefs that are going to compete. All are professional chefs, and probably most have shows that are currently on the Food Network. One that I know of has made news for having the IRS go over his books, and this chef, whose initials are G.Z., is probably the most pompous ass of a chef shown on the station, so it will be interesting to see how that pans out.
**rubbing my hands in anticipation**
Let the games begin.
..and no, this isn’t about the passing of Steve Jobs,although R.I.P. to him, but this is about the music of George Harrison, which I’ve got on my Iphone, adding to Steve Jobs’ estate..
I grew up post-Beatles, or should I say, the Beatles grew up with me. I was a toddler when “She loves You” came out, in fourth grade when Sgt.Pepper came out, and so on.
Fast forward forty years and on my Iphone the Concert for George is playing. After George Harrison died of cancer, his friends, such as Tom Petty and Eric Clapton got together and did a concert as a tribute. There is some good stuff on it, IMHO.
Two nights ago, Jim and I were watching the HBO documentary on George Harrison and it was pretty darn good, and as well it should have been, as it was done by Martin Scorsese. The one thing that struck me, in it, was when George was apprehensive about writing songs, “after all, John and Paul did that: could I do it?”
I am glad you did George. I have gotten into YOUR music and YOUR lyrics, and think you did a helluva job…now if I could only get them out of my head….lol.
While going out to the more scenic area where my work is sometimes located, I had to go through the major train station in order to get there.
I had been a little early, so I took advantage of the time, grabbed a hot coffee to loosen up the wreck of a cough I am currently nursing, and sat..and watched, albeit for a little while. As I was drinking coffee, I looked at the people walking past me who were also carrying coffee cups. I kind of came to this equation; coffee is the universal solvent. It seemed that regardless of sex, race,age,blue-collar, white-collar, working or retired.There was a cup in 11 out of 20 hands. Granted, some of them might have been tea or cocoa. Evidently, recession or not, folks need their cup of joe.
Personally, my Phillies had me up last night, along with my cough, and I figured I’d need a little jolt so I can hopefully see my Fightin’ Phillies bury the Cardinals tonite..**fingers crossed**..Here’s hoping!
So if you have followed me from Blogger.com, you’ll remember that I have a fondness for all things vanilla.
As disappointed as I was with Folger’s Vanilla Biscotti kcups, over this past weekend I went out and bought them again. I know, how stupid is she?, but at the same time, I am armed with a fresh bottle of vanilla syrup( 35 calories a tbsp), and am going to give it another shot. I mean, when things are supposed to be vanilla, well, everything else was good.I know, the rule of thumb is anything “vanilla” is bland, but I always say vanilla is a pure flavor.I am giving the Kcup a chance to redeem itself. Besides my sinus ravaged throat can use something hot…lol
For lack of anything better to do, I had the E! Channel on and Jim and I were watching the Kardashians, or, more appropriately, “Keeping up with the Kardashians”.
After a little while, Jim was intrigued and still wonders do people actually live like this? Sure, I said, if you’re in Calabasas California, are married to a former gold medal Olympian, Bruce Jenner. I really can’t fathom the bit that their husband/friend/father, the late Robert Kardashian, was OJ’s lawyer. I mean, until Kim got herself caught in a sex tape scandal, that was the family’s claim to fame. Now look at them. Even as I type this, I have E! on for white noise and Mr. and Mrs. Jenner are celebrating their twentieth anniversary in Bora-Bora. Really…
I can just see the Kardashian girls living my life, dealing with my Mom’s illness, working my job,cooking my dinners. In the old days, before dementia, Mom used to say ” Must be nice..”( meaning to have money. They have a new line of clothes designed, allegedly, by the Kardashian girls…sure, and they’ll fit up to what, size 10? Funny they never seem to prepare a meal on the show. Beds are always magically made, and one episode actually had one of the younger daughters farming out a dog walking job to a local Mexican worker for half what Bruce Jenner was going to pay her.
Talk about Fantasyland….
…changing weather too.
Those of you who had been reading know I loathe the oppressive humidity of summer. Ok, so now it’s cooler and “ta-dah!” my sinuses have rebelled. I think it really is the mold around from all the rain we had. Add in a touch of ragweed, and what a disaster. Last year I was kind of lucky with my sinuses…obviously not so this fall. Think I will take the girls out for a walk and hopefully, the salt air will work it’s magic. It’ll will surely be a job to stay awake to watch my Phillies tonite, and not let the sinus medication knock me out.
You have found the new home of my blog, “There Is No Sanity Clause”
Please come back and read it often!
this is my new home-
There is no sanity clause