Working out the glitches

We are going through the house and trying to put some things away this weekend.

There’s a pile for the attic, and we have made a few bags of donations to the local church, but how can you work at putting things away when you have to be a math major? Sure, there is common sense that x amount of handbags can only fit in such a spot.As my work career is not that far behind me at this point, and maybe, just maybe a job will be in my future, how do you figure out what you’d need without hiding it out in an attic.

You can go on-line and find out storage solutions and, honestly?There are the two of us and two dogs.Then there are 12+years of marriage to weed through and prior life things to keep.

I’d like to think that I don’t have to hurry about this, although it would be nice to have the house shape up a little better. A few short tables or bookcases, things of that sort, but in the meanwhile, working out the glitches seems to be the next step.

Stay tuned.

Moving daze…lol

The fun began.

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So here I am with the rest of my life ahead of me and a big bunch of moved items.

**sigh**

I never have the energy or inclination to pack or unpack.Because I am a sentimental fool who has memories of basically everything and feel sad, albeit I do get excited at change, I admit, I tend to reflect quicker than I do look forward.I cherish the memories I do have, and especially having a Mom who had dementia, realize the importance of them.

It’s a new day, however, and it’s the classic “first day of the rest of my life.”

Pardon me while I get back to moving boxes and black bags.

Memory Triggered

I took a bus down and because it was cold , I got off the bus and made my way to the train platform. I had decided to take a train into town.

There was a little scene going on at the platform: a 30-ish mom with her little 6-year-old boy and she was trying to talk him into wearing her scarf to stay warm.

I was so fortunate to go on the train and who sits across from me from the mother and the young boy. He sat there proudly holding a $10 dollar bill between his fingers to pay the conductor for the fare. We started talking about the boy and I spoke to her of my nephews and their love of trains. I had an actual pleasant start to my day, with pleasant memory triggered by this mom and her boy, for which I thanked them and wished them a merry Christmas, and they did the same to me.

I felt good, for the first time in a long time.

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Working for “The Man”

I had a chance to work overtime tonight and did. I worked an additional four hours and boy am I beat!

One of the benefits of working overtime is I can earn time to use as I wish. This is really the reason that I do this, as it allows me to continue taking Fridays off through the end of the year.

Just wanted to share a quick picture I snapped from my window tonite of the skyline at sunset.As much as I was really tired and didn’t feel like staying, and as much as I wanted to be home with my family, the sight was really pretty. Knowing I probably won’t catch it again was bittersweet.Mind you, I won’t miss the city, but being blessed with vision to take this view in is something I will warmly press in my memories.

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End of the Summer Season

Yup, I know Fall doesn’t start until late September.

As I sit here and type this, I am looking out the window and looking at the late summer lawn and garden.Part of me is genuinely sad, as I am sitting in the room where both my parents passed away in 1998 and 2012.That thought and looking at the outside really makes me feel the passage of time.Part of me laments the fact that I used to go swimming in the summer with Zush, and the fact that we are both getting a little older, well, Zush goes in and I keep her company going up to my mid-calves.

I feel depressed.

The hope I have is for the future.

The hope to finish out my time here in the city and pray that the future is kind to us all.To actually live in a house with my husband that is ours and with our furniture and belongings and things that are ours is something that I am patiently waiting for. I hear Jim say about how is going to miss his job, and yet, I am leaving mine to move as is he, and this was the first time I heard him express that.Wow…something else to mull over in my mind,

I mull these things over in my head, and although I know I am more than ready to leave, I can only pray that we all survive the transition.

In the crispness of fall, hopefully, things will be comforting to us and we all will be alright.

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Hack-hack….

I have started hacking away all of a sudden.

It starts as soon as I leave the house in the morning.

I saw what it was this morning…

RAG WEED.

Talk about your warm and fuzzy childhood moments.As soon as I realized what it was, I heard my Mom talking to me.

” Whenever it was time to go back to school, you always came down with a ” cold”. Finally I took you to the doctor who said to me you had hay fever.”

Jeez, Mom, that would explain the amount of handkerchiefs you sent me to school with, tucked away in my uniform blouse sleeve.Thanks, Mom. I always wondered about that.

I thought of something I recently saw posted on Facebook. It went something to the effect of your Mother never leaves you.

What a comforting thought.Miss you every day,Mom.

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It Was Thirty Years Ago Today**

** with apologies to Lennon and Mc Cartney

It was thirty years ago today,
The city of Philly started giving me pay….

Nah, I can’t twist those lyrics that badly, especially since I like that song.

But…

On this day in 1911, a dispatcher in the New York Times office sends the first telegram around the world via commercial service.On this day in 1977, NASA sent the Voyager II, an unmanned 1,820 pound spacecraft into orbit.On this day in 1984, I became a full-time employee of the city of Philadelphia.

Thirty years.**shaking my head**

I can’t believe it.

I am truly blessed, especially in the day of companies relocating, folding, high unemployment….

My nephews Matthias and Gregory weren’t even born yet.My parents were both alive and I was living in the home I grew up in.I was probably**gulp** 80 pounds thinner and a lot more optimistic.I know I was scared. I left a small publishing house to work for the city.And now, thirty years later, I work a half city block away from the home of that first post college job.

Full circle? Yup, it certainly seems that way.

I thank my brother Bob for kicking my butt into getting this job.Without this job I’d probably not be here writing this blog.My medical plan from this job got me into a protocol for my first cancer.Without it, I might have died.When I started this job, my Mom asked me to call her in the morning when I got to my desk so she didn’t have to worry about me here in the city. Toward the waning years of her life, I called her every morning to make sure she was ok.The circle of life strikes again.

It’s funny.I appreciate being my age, but that melancholia can envelope you when you stop to think about back then.I’d like to think I have learned from my mistakes I have made, and with what I have learned, stare the future down and say ,”Here I come.”

Thank God!

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Malaise

A beautiful night we have tonight, and I took the girls out.

I am back sitting in my parent’s home.I am typing in the room where both of them left this world in. Granted, my mom had passed away in January, but this time of year always takes me to my Dads’ passing in August of the year. So many memories swirl in my head, and they are mine alone, since I was here when Dad passed. Jim and I weren’t married then.

I’d like to think Dad would be happy about the move to Undisclosed, especially since the former Navy man loved the water.You think back about so many things and how you wish they physically were there with you. Yes, I know, they are both here in spirit, but, how wonderful it would have been to see their reaction to things.

Then I stop and think of my Mom and thank God that I still have the memories, because, Mom didn’t.I try to savor every day and everything, and hopefully, I have the memory of happy times for a long, long time in the future.

Until then,it’ll be a daily struggle to cut through the fog of malaise. Clear skies can’t come soon enough.

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180 more days…

…and I,hopefully, will see 55.

Where did the time go?

When will it get here?

I get torn,especially when this past month, I had Matt Miziorko get married and Greg Miziorko graduate college and get accepted to graduate school.

Then, in the next breath, I think about getting in the office tomorrow and the job of public transportation and its’ navigation, irate taxpayers, and summer weather.The three in tandem are not my favorite trio.

One of my best buddies, Kate, threw me a birthday,rather,a half birthday party around thirty-three years ago.Egad, as I remember it like it was yesterday.She made me feel good, because having a birthday on the shortest day of the year always sucked. You were cheated in sunlight.Not that her birthday was too much better than mine because hers is in February. Boy, they were good times.

Here’s to many more!

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Retirement-the advanced class

A co-worker just came by and announced someone in management is retiring tomorrow.

“Good”, I said.

I agree with the get out of Dodge quick theory.After all, you have worked your years and you should be able to make your own call. Some people may not want to leave, but feel it is time. Others want to get on with their own life and leave it all behind.Not everyone is looking for a party.

It shouldn’t be taken personally, because when it comes your turn, you want to go out the way you’d want to go.

Just cherish the good times and learn from the bad.

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Gotta be a holiday…

because I am up,congested to the top of my head, and Jim is sleeping.

Is there anything else worse than having your breathing impaired?Nothing in all my years with crappy sinuses have made me so physically uncomfortable. I don’t even want to think of how asthma and other sufferers of serious breathing diseases handle this on a daily basis, and with the thought of them, I know that I really can’t complain about being stopped up. Perhaps it is the 4:10am aspect of it-I am one who loves my sleep and know by being up now, it’s going to be a really long day.

In the old days, I’d be with all my family, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins as we would join together to celebrate the Polish Christmas eve custom of Wigilia, the Christmas Eve supper.Most of the family who were there now celebrate it in heaven:there are not too many of us left.The younger generation who have since come of age are spread throughout the country.So in my heart tonight I know I will go back and fondly remember how good it was back then and say a little prayer for those of my family partying in heaven.

Here’s hoping your Christmas eve fills your heart with happy memories and you have room to create even more!

Merry Christmas!

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