Mom…it feels like a lifetime

Today marks four years since Mom passed and I have to offer what I had written in last years post. The meaning is even deeper, as is the heartache.

I miss her every day.It’s a hole in my heart that I know might be healed over by the time I pass away.I find her in little things, and especially, while in the process of moving, I unpacked her sweater and sat with it on today.I made waffle batter this morning in one of her mixing bowls. Tomorrow I am going to look for a book to put her handwritten recipes in. I know she is at peace,and that is the only thing that makes the pain of loss a little bearable.

I keep a picture of her on the table by my bed, and see her every morning.It’s a shot of her before she fell into dementia.On the computer I see pictures of her in her hospital bed when she was in hospice.Today we got the new issue of AARP magazine and they had, on the cover,pictures of everyone who had Alzheimer’s/Dementia and they were people who had passed within the year.

I cherish the memory while God still blesses me with one, and cherish every day I am on two feet. I figure the best way I can honor her legacy is to keep going as best as I can.

Doesn’t stop her from missing me, though.

Mom

I read a post of Facebook today that made me close my eyes and take me back three years.

A friend of mine who is posted in the Vatican put on the Facebook message page that his father passed away. I wrote condolences from myself and Jim, and let him know that this is the week of the year that God looks for angels. Today is three years that my Mom passed away.

Three years.

I miss her every day.It’s a whole in my heart that I know might be healed over by the time I pass away.I find her in little things, and especially, while in the process of moving, I unpacked her sweater and sat with it on today.I made waffle batter this morning in one of her mixing bowls. Tomorrow I am going to look for a book to put her handwritten recipes in. I know she is at peace,and that is the only thing that makes the pain of loss a little bearable.

I keep a picture of her on the table by my bed, and see her every morning.It’s a shot of her before she fell into dementia.On the computer I see pictures of her in her hospital bed when she was in hospice.Today we got the new issue of AARP magazine and they had, on the cover,pictures of everyone who had Alzheimer’s/Dementia and they were people who had passed within the year.

I cherish the memory while God still blesses me with one, and cherish every day I am on two feet. I figure the best way I can honor her legacy is to keep going as best as I can.

Doesn’t stop her from missing me, though.

002

So surreal

I had been looking for something on YouTube and came across JohnF.Kennedy Jr.

It’s almost 15 years since he took that fateful plane ride that cost him his life, along with the lives of his wife,Carolyn Bissette and her sister,Lauren.

Fifteen years…wow!

One can only stop and think of what could have been if the outcome had been different.Would he have embraced his heritage and run for public office? Would there have been children? Would he have been the first Kennedy to escape the “Kennedy curse”? Might we have had someone different in Oval Office?You can only wonder.

How difficult it must have been for his sister Caroline. As a practicing Catholic,you take some comfort in knowing he is reunited with his parents, but I know that the surviving family member can be very lonely.You are grateful for memories, but there comes a point that they are bittersweet.

He is in a better place,and his place here with us is left with a giant void.