Party

I am rude.

I am at a family gathering on the phone, doing, of all things, a blog post.I am not the only one.

  
It’s rough when you aren’t a parent, or have made all the conversation possible, and you’re supposed to, uh, twiddle your thumbs?

I guess folks won’t invite me back if they think I’m rude. My guess is they are too busy talking to notice.

Holiday away

It’s hard this year.

I pulled out my Mom’s ceramic Easter egg and a small crocheted easter egg she had. I couldn’t handle too much more out, because it’s the first Easter at the new home.We won’t be here for dinner, per se, because we’ll be with Jim’s Mom and family.

When Mom was around,we had Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving every year at our home, and did what a lot of couples do: go to the other spouse’s family so everyone gets even time and you try not to slight anyone.

Mom is gone three years.

I haven’t had a Polish Easter in 3 years and for some reason, I am a little sad about it. I miss the traditions, although having the Polish parish in Manayunk get shut down by the Archdiocese doesn’t help either.I miss my brother and his family, I miss my Aunt and cousin: I am missing a lot.

My memory is still ok though, so I will have to share Easter with them in my prayers and in my mind and heart.

I am thankful that God still will let me do that.

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Melancholy Overload

A buddy of mine had posted a picture on Facebook tonight and it showed a plate of pizzelle cookies and some wine.Gee, I thought, what a good idea, until I remembered that my pizzelle maker is down at Undisclosed.

**sigh**

I think of other things that I could be doing up here, or, over the weekend, reverse it to down there, and whatever I am looking for always seems to be in the opposite place.The girls and I have been doing our walks, and I look around at their favorite routes and wonder to myself if they’ll miss it.

**sigh**

I stop and think about the history of this house that I am in right now, and it is the last place that my entire family was together seventeen years ago. Yes, I know that you take the memories with you but,……

**sigh**

We are going through the holiday season right now and I am trying hard to keep in the spirit. It really isn’t easy, and as my buddies would say, when you are down there full time, things will be good and different and you will feel better.

I like to think that I am ready to move forward into a new chapter of life. I just wish I didn’t feel the need to think I am going to need an ativan chaser for it.

Thanksgiving week

It’s that time of year again for me.

I think it’s kind of common that when you get to a point in a life, you have some balance, and then the balance tips the other way.

I miss and honor those who are no longer with me at Thanksgiving.

It’s not really a fair statement, as I miss them every day. I include them in my prayers daily.Perhaps if things were different, the melancholia that settles over me like a fog could be shaken off.But it doesn’t. I strive to savor those with me, have loving thoughts for those separated from me by distance, and prayers for those who are having a heavenly holiday.

There was a time when grandparents were still around, and aunts and uncles and parents and cousins and, in short, a full table.

If only……**sigh**20121112-160316.jpg

Needing a nap

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It’s hell being a social butterfly.

That is, when you are used to doing your own thing, on your own time or your employer’s time, and, quite frankly, life is routine.

For two weekends we had Jim’s surprise party, Mother’s day, time with my mother-in-law at the casino,a breast cancer walk, Gregory’s college graduation from Temple and Matt and Kat’s wedding to wrap it up with. Oh yeah, top that off with a chaser of food shopping and three loads of laundry yesterday.

Friday we are back to Undisclosed. We wonder if it misses us, because we sure missed it.It’ll be nice, as great as all these life events are, to get back to schedule.

Gotta be a holiday…

because I am up,congested to the top of my head, and Jim is sleeping.

Is there anything else worse than having your breathing impaired?Nothing in all my years with crappy sinuses have made me so physically uncomfortable. I don’t even want to think of how asthma and other sufferers of serious breathing diseases handle this on a daily basis, and with the thought of them, I know that I really can’t complain about being stopped up. Perhaps it is the 4:10am aspect of it-I am one who loves my sleep and know by being up now, it’s going to be a really long day.

In the old days, I’d be with all my family, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins as we would join together to celebrate the Polish Christmas eve custom of Wigilia, the Christmas Eve supper.Most of the family who were there now celebrate it in heaven:there are not too many of us left.The younger generation who have since come of age are spread throughout the country.So in my heart tonight I know I will go back and fondly remember how good it was back then and say a little prayer for those of my family partying in heaven.

Here’s hoping your Christmas eve fills your heart with happy memories and you have room to create even more!

Merry Christmas!

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The other Mrs. C.

My mother-in-law turned 95 yesterday.

Ninety-five.

I am jealous, although I am so happy for her, but it just makes me miss my Mom all that more.
She wouldn’t have liked to go out like my mother-in-law does, but just to see that smile and
and hear that voice would be so nice.

Sto lat, Mom C., and many more.God bless you and keep you safe.

Mom..I miss you every day.

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Pity? Party of One?

Shingleman is out at a family function.
The dogs have been out but not far.
I have a load of wash in the dryer.
And I am feeling a little low.

Yeah, I know-pity party for one.

We were due to go out and visit out in Lancaster initially today but then I got the bronchial tube from hell and, quite frankly, I don’t want to be around me. I am, quite frankly, tired of this lingering on and the general malaise that is accompanying it. I was thinking back to the ” old days”, i.e., pre Shingleman, and don’t ever remember being laid this low quite as often. I think part of the stress of care giving for Mom has not totally left me and my system needs to get some more juicing in it to bring it up to par.

Oh, and I forgot the big one….here, in the city, for the weekend….

Anymore being here has the appeal of a big wet washrag. I can think of 1 million other places I’d like to be and I where I should be- @ Undisclosed…

Have got to GET and STAY healthy first.

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Friday five

On this Friday after Thanksgiving, I had better do a Friday five, as there are always tons to be thankful for.

Shingleman & I started juicing back on Veterans’ Day. I can’t believe how much better I feel just doing one juice a day. I am grateful we are experiencing this together, and we’re working on ourselves.

I am constantly surprised at the amount of ” genuine ” people. I had a nice chat with a guy who reaffirmed my judgement of his character.Nice to know I can still call it on the button sometimes.

The girls and I walked up to spend some time with Bob and the family. It was a truly bittersweet day with Mom being gone: it was good to be together.

My neighbors down the street watched me grow up. Their oldest boy was in my class – they are now in their 80’s and we stopped to see them yesterday. I got to taste-test stuffing**yummo-just like Mom’s** and we had some apple pie. Always good to learn from elders: you get some valuable lessons!

Having family doesn’t always rock, but usually does. I am so thankful for the years of memories I have experienced, which allow me the hope of having many, many more memories to come.

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Tired

The ” Big Event”, as Shingleman liked to call it, is over.

When you have nine people in a house where everything you do is geared for two,well,let’s just say it’s a job. It was a nice job, but one nonetheless .

I like to entertain, but I am more of a family/dogs gal. I am blessed with compassionate friends, two of which came out to the big event. Their presence made it even more special.

Now, saluting the past and spending the present catching up with sleep!

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Kicking on back….

…which is easy on year old titanium knees….lol

I have taken a few days off in anticipation of the Shingleman and what he calls “the big event.” Part vacation in that I get to actually get to sleep until 8am for a few days, part entertaining the Shingleman’s family, which is nice, and the rest, well, we’ll just roll with the punches…

The weather is irrelevant, because family will be all together, and having my brother left on my side, it’s a little bittersweet that there are not that many folks left on my side. Being with Shingleman’s family makes me appreciate them even more, as no one knows what tomorrow brings.

Looking forward to a nice couple of days..**here’s hoping**