Season 1 is over

You can tell by the amount of morning gulls on the Tarmac. They allegedly got the word that the 9:30 ferry was lining up.

It is crazy to see the change between the Fourth of July week, and now, although those without kids come charging through. Then you get the ones who NEED to get to their Florida home:why? Hurricanes not coming quick enough for you this summer?

Now my bud is back next to me so I hope things are better today. It’s amazing when you have someone who knows what crap you are experiencing…helluva sisterhood with my pal Katie…love her! 

 

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Long Weekends

The best part about long weekends is when they are unexpected.

The office has been closed for two days and it is President’s weekend. It is really crazy, because,for me, it is like gold falling from the sky.

We are hanging out with our buddies, catching up after almost a year of not catching up in person-much too long! It has the promise of being an awesome weekend!

If you have the gift of a three-day weekend, enjoy it.Just a regular two-day? Enjoy that too! Relax…life is too short.

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Old Friends

While I was home today, I got a text from my buddy Margo,as I call her.

We are both in our fifties: we go back to our mid to late teens together.Typing that seems kind of odd, but it is true. We have known each other that long.It is incredible how we talked to each other, hung with each other, listened to Frank Sinatra together, got into trouble together (as IF) and went through some years together.For a period of many years, we pretty much fell out of contact;we both got married and moved into different areas.Facebook brought us back together and that was funny.Like all good friends, it’s as if we picked up where we left off.

I am blessed to know Margo.

She’s good people!

February Friday Five

Managed to escape from the big city for a little.

When we got down to Undisclosed, we came through snow and cold. It’s nice. Nice clear air to clean the city crap out of my lungs.The girls are in heaven running out in the back yard playing in the snow!

We get to go out to dinner tonight with our friends. We don’t get a chance to go often, so it promises to be a nice night. It’s always good to hang with good friends.

My health is decent enough that I managed to donate a pint of blood. I remember post-chemo when I couldn’t. I am happy I can.

It’s cold enough that snuggling on the flannel sheets under the comforter tonight, well, if it stays cold, I’m not going to want to leave the bed tomorrow. Oh…Saturday….yay! I CAN stay in bed.

I’m looking forward to a Superbowl party Sunday at my friend’s house.We don’t always go to one, and I am rooting for as close to local as I am going to get, the Ravens.

Have a good weekend!

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Friday Five

It’s been a while since I did my thankful Friday five, but at year’s end seemed appropriate, so….

I have never been so happy to see a year-end, and that my immediate family and friends got through relatively unscathed. I am hoping that 2013 picks us all up and finds us well.Thanks God we got almost all the way through it.

Did I mention Jim? aka Shingleman? How blessed am I to have him in my life. We have been getting through things together for over ten years, and I can think of no finer guy to have in my life. He is my love and my rock.

I’ve had a few significant people pass out of my life this year, who were suffering with illness for a while. I am sad that they are gone, but they are, I am sure, in their heavenly reward. My life had been enriched from knowing them.

They always say friends are family that you pick yourself.You KNOW who you are-I am thankful you are in my life. 🙂

Finally,I am thankful to you, my reader. Hope you have a happy and healthy 2013.

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Friday five

On this Friday after Thanksgiving, I had better do a Friday five, as there are always tons to be thankful for.

Shingleman & I started juicing back on Veterans’ Day. I can’t believe how much better I feel just doing one juice a day. I am grateful we are experiencing this together, and we’re working on ourselves.

I am constantly surprised at the amount of ” genuine ” people. I had a nice chat with a guy who reaffirmed my judgement of his character.Nice to know I can still call it on the button sometimes.

The girls and I walked up to spend some time with Bob and the family. It was a truly bittersweet day with Mom being gone: it was good to be together.

My neighbors down the street watched me grow up. Their oldest boy was in my class – they are now in their 80’s and we stopped to see them yesterday. I got to taste-test stuffing**yummo-just like Mom’s** and we had some apple pie. Always good to learn from elders: you get some valuable lessons!

Having family doesn’t always rock, but usually does. I am so thankful for the years of memories I have experienced, which allow me the hope of having many, many more memories to come.

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Stand and Deliver

It is with a tip o’the cap to my friend “B”,that my resilience is bolstered today. She is going through trying times, and made a journal-like entry as to current conclusions she had made on life as we know it.

I am able to join “B” at these conclusions, thanks to considerate friends, and join in her pronouncement ….”I’ve got this.”

Thanks “B”, for spelling it out for me!
Sometimes a friend is best on leading the way!

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Quiet Friday

It was nice to have some quality time with the girls today while getting ready for the weekend. There were plenty of chores to do and it was so easy to have interspersed dog life with household chores. Zush even got a bath this morning to ease itchy skin, so she got an oatmeal shampoo .

We shared a wonderful dinner tonite with our friend Vida and her Mom at the Lobster House. We had broiled shrimp stuffed with crabmeat and it was fabulous. A pitcher of adult beverages accompanied it and the meal and the company and the meal gave a whole new dimension to summertime and the living is easy!

Have a great weekend!

 

Friday five

Am I ever grateful for my BFF ‘s….they are true pillars of support…and it’s great because they KNOW who they are.

God gifted me with a great Dad for thirty eight years. I have missed him terribly for the past fourteen years and will love him forever.

I am grateful my nephew Greg has the chance to start another year at Temple university. He makes our family so proud.

I am absolutely grateful for a good night’s sleep: I only wish they came more often.

Finally, especially after seeing what my Mom went through, I am grateful for my memories: I hold them all close to appreciate the comfort they bring.

Have a good Friday!

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It was twenty years ago today…

…or so the beginning to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club band goes….but for me it was 28.

Twenty eight years ago, this T Rex of an employee was green around the gills, walking into the  first day in a big government agency scared half to death. By the grace of God, here I am 28 years, 3 cancers, plus Shingleman, minus parents later, and I am still here.

Go Figure.

The benefits I received from this job saved my life, for I surely would never have been on a protocol for my first cancer. The friends I have made and KEPT along the way are choice-with them I am truly blessed. So today I am tuly thankful to those who guided me to the finding of this job, guided me during my early years, and on the bad days, guided me away from darkness.Those of you have been with me along the way know the road has been bumpy, but it has been great sharing the bumps along with you.

**hugs**

Tired

The ” Big Event”, as Shingleman liked to call it, is over.

When you have nine people in a house where everything you do is geared for two,well,let’s just say it’s a job. It was a nice job, but one nonetheless .

I like to entertain, but I am more of a family/dogs gal. I am blessed with compassionate friends, two of which came out to the big event. Their presence made it even more special.

Now, saluting the past and spending the present catching up with sleep!

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Turning a corner

After a really crappy turn at work for the past month or so, I walked home from the train tonite with a feeling I haven’t had in a long time-peace!

What a difference compassionate friends have made: I may not have a ton of friends but the ones I have are fabulous. I am truly blessed. They are there for you no matter what, and I know they know I am there for them.

Life is good, especially when you make it over a mountain.

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Symbols

I am a three cancer survivor. Between my second and third cancers, I lost my eighteen year old niece,Alexandra, to a mid-brain tumor. After she passed, it was funny that thoughts of her crossed my mind and a butterfly would appear,

Two of my BFFs, Duch and Jen, also shared symbolism with me. For Jen, it was her late Mom, and Duch’s late granddaughter, Leah, was a” butterfly baby”; that is , she suffered from EB.

Jim and I walked the trail at Cape May state park, and I took the shot you see in this blog. My faith has me a firm believer in life after death. It was nice to have the butterfly cross my path.

“All is well.”

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It’s back

Just when I thought it was safe to be content in the office,well….it’s back.

Drama.
Office drama.

It seems that I have some aura that must be triggered when things are quiet. ” Hey, it’s time to get Mar’s gut in a knot again.”

Guess what? I am not going to let it happen. I don’t dump on considerate friends, so my “psychiatrist is in” shingle is in the trash.

Drama? Got no time for it!

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Happy Birthday, Titanium Style!

 It was one year ago, on the 18th of March, that I had my two knees taken apart, and two new titanium knees put in their place.

It has been a long haul… LONG, long haul..I did my PT post-op , and  I can do steps , but not quite well enough to make me happy. I know it takes time, but you wish you can walk, er, should I say, ambulate, as a “regular” person. I can bend my knees and often do my exercises to keep them a little limber, but sometimes, you think it would be nice just to be able to jump out of a car. I am just biding my time, trying to get the weight down, and make the knees work.

It was hysterical to look at the picture that I have added to this post one year post-op. I remember the relief at actually having my knees done. The mere fact that when I’d be standing up, I would no longer hear the crunch crunch of bone on bone when I would walk-that was a thought that made my day. The bow-legged stance that I had adapted along the way would be a thing of the past, and I was so happy to say good-bye to it. My youngest dog daughter, Kasia, NEVER had a real walk with me. New knees would allow me to finally get her out with Zush on a real walk. Zush, who suffered with me as my knees went downhill, would be walking full-steam with me again. As my nephew Greg would say, “It’s a win-win” situation.

Thank you to all who have helped me, prayed for me, supported me and stayed by me during this year. I have another 29 years to go on the warranty, according to Dr. Bartolozzi…..here’ hoping!

 An actual post op shot of one of the two knees the hours after surgery.

Undisclosed emotions at undisclosed location

 

 

What a ten day stretch.

 

I find it incredible that  the most outstanding emotion that I am encountering is exhaustion to the point of sleep. I need the sleep and realize that, and a not fighting it, although it is such a beautiful day, it is truly a shame to waste it.

I am going through a mug of cappuccino and planning to enjoy every minute of my time, as the lesson that I am walking with today is life is too freaking short. You are here and a heartbeat later you can be gone.

 

Thanks to you, readers and friends, for your support and understanding during this time: your words have warmed my being. I originally started writing this blog as an outlet for caregiving. Maybe, now, it’s just an outlet for life, period.

 

 

Hugs,

M.

 

 

 

 

You’ve got to have friends…..

 

As the Bard Shakespeare himself once wrote, “Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.”

You guys know you are my faithful friends.

You have gotten me , and through prayerful extension,Bob, through the past four years. You have handed me tissues, shared lunch, walked with me, or even just shared a word or too regarding the current situation that I was in. The encouragement is what helped get me though this and I just wanted you to know that, and I am so deeply appreciative for your presence in my life.

I chose the picture for today because the sun has set on my Mom, but there are still clouds in the picture. With all your help, I know I can conquer the clouds and have some closure.

Cliche’ not with standing…thank you for being a friend.

On the flip side from yesterday..

…When I am at home with Jim, as opposed to watching my Mom at night, I get to ride the train into the office. When the train pulls into the station, I am able to walk underground up to a block before my office , so it’s not too bad during the winter.

I was walking through the mall area this morning when I came in, and walked by a Dunkin’ Donuts, where a guy, who I had recognized, had turned first, looked at me and said good morning. I, naturally, wished him a good morning back. I really don’t know this guy outside of riding the train for the past almost ten years, but the mere fact that he recognized me and spoke to me not only made me feel good, but started me thinking.

There are people I know from an almost daily commute on the train. Take, for instance, my friend who is a physician’s assistant at Hahnemann hospital. Do I know her name? No, as we sit in the quiet car every morning and on the way back. We pantomime our good mornings and smile, and when we are frustrated at something about the transit authority, we’ve been know to pass notes back and forth. An acquaintance from, of all places, my brother’s street, who, I am embarrassed to say, for as many times as I talked to him on the train platform, well, have never asked his name. Then there is Jim, who I have been getting the train with since I first got married-he works for the transit authority and loves to tell me stories, while waiting on the platform, about inspecting train tunnels..**shudder**..but, entertaining none the less.

Outside of maybe two handfuls of true “friends” that I have met working at the same spot for 27 years, I’ll miss these guys too. Not enough NOT to leave, but there will always be a warm spot in my heart for you all.

Oh, for my buddies Juls and Duch, here is a sunset of shot of my hopefully future transportation- the Ferry. 😉

Getting ready to retire and….

 

…This is what I got today in the office, complete with a 23″ inch screen. I had laughed when I opened up one of the items that gets used on a daily basis by this government agency and the type had to be in 36 Font. I told the IT guy that this truly must be the computer for the old on the way out heads, because you never saw the font that large anytime or anywhere else.

I have been thinking the fast few days about this being my last Thanksgiving on the job. The last of 27 Thanksgivings and 27 Black Fridays. Will I miss it? Fighting shoppers on Black Friday morning in order to try to swipe in on time? No. I will miss my friends, though, and on this Thanksgiving week, not only am I thankful for them and my friends outside of the office, but for all of my friends and family. As twisted and dysfunctional we may all be at times, you all have a special place in my heart, and for that I am truly blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mar