“I am older than I once was but younger than I’ll be….”-Paul Simon-The Boxer
I recently heard an additional stanza of THE BOXER by Paul Simon and the words about being older than I once was have been resonating through my mind. I have been going through some medical issues over the past year. I never had been daunted before , going through serious medical issues in my life, because I always looked at it as something to approach, deal with, and get on with things.
That was thirty years ago.
A week from today I am going to the city for some surgery. The thought of it brings me back thirty years. Egad, how cavalier it all was then. Now, I genuinely am afraid.
The mere fact that I am still here thirty years later, well, the Lord has been good to me. My body, however, is thirty years older and I have not taken as good care of my body as I should have. It makes me wonder if I can still “pull a rabbit out of my hat.” The “what ifs?” dance around my head in the middle of the night, and, quite frankly, I worry. I multiply this by the potential that there might be two or three additional surgeries coming along down the road.
If anything, my diagnosis has, as it had thirty years ago, make me appreciate everything…well mostly everything.
I relish my time with Jim and Kasia, because they are my loves and my family. I am grateful every time I get up in the morning and can get two feet on the floor. Most importantly, I relish my time alone. I reflect on the past, pray for today and hope for the future. Some people I know are afraid to,kind of, be by themselves. Me? I like sifting through things in the parts of my head that are working , and making myself chuckle.
After all, laughter is the best medicine.