Pulling at Band-Aids

I am watching television and on comes a commercial for Medicare 65 health insurance. The man is walking along a beach with a golden retriever.


It’s that time of year and I had to figure out our Christmas cards. Of course, I do photo cards and that meant pictures, for the last time, of both my girls.


It’s November and it’s been 5 months and 8 days since my Zush left me. Her foster mom, my buddy Kathy, tells me how their spirit stays behind. I sit in our love seat and look at where she used to lay and try to visualize her, but to no avail. I talk to her once in a while, too. Oh, I know: Kasia reigns supreme now, but Zush still haunts me. Here alone at night with Kasia, it is kind of quiet.At least with the both of them here I always had entertainment. More often, it was me yelling at Kasia to stop bothering Zush, or talking to Zush as she lay out back on the deck to try to coax her back in. I talk to Kasia, really, I do. The quietness is still overwhelming.
We both miss her sister.

When I lost my parents, friends always would say the heart heals with time.Through the past twenty years, my heart has yet to heal.Oh sure, it would start to.When that would happen, it was a guarantee that more heartache was around the corner.

God, how I miss her.


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Sixty two year old married female, care-giving, coffee-drinking.dog loving former government employee who is writing to try to keep her sanity.

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