Every night I am here with the girls, and that’s it. On the weekend Jim is here with me.
I am accustomed to it, and just pretty much make do with the way things are.The only bad thing, right now, is that I sit here and become my mother.That is not a bad thing, but it means I sit here and think and pray and cry and hope about Zosia.
There was the documentary that was shot about 9/10/2001, and the female documentary maker said about the title of her film roughly translated from Spanish.You are not dead the night before you die.You are still living.That has always stuck in my head and when I am here with my girls, it makes me even more determined to savor every moment for the memory.I can’t worry about losing Zush, as God has still granted her presence with me.
Still, it is hard, during the time that goes bump into the night, to keep that good frame of mind.I just have to love both the girls as much as I can.
Tomorrow is another doctor appointment for me with the infectious disease doctor.I hope that this maybe, just maybe, can wrap up soon. Any prayers or good karma you can send this way, I will be forever in your favor.